


In My Dreams

by MichLC



Series: Walls No Longer Exist [3]
Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-02
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-03-04 20:25:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3087926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichLC/pseuds/MichLC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Finding it hard to cope with Oliver's death, Felicity relishes sleep where she can still be with him.  Little does she know, he dreams of her too.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Six months, three days and sixteen hours have passed since Felicity's world came crashing down.  She doesn't even recall the first two months.  They had passed in a blur.  She still worked at Palmer Technologies and she still helped the team at night, but strictly from the comfort of her own home, away from the Arrow Cave, away from the memories and away from the salmon ladder.  By the third month, the dreams had come in her sleep and stayed with her, even after she started officially dating Ray Palmer.  She liked Ray enough, but there was little doubt she felt far less for him than she ever did for Oliver.  Truth be told, she stayed with him as another distraction.  She kept her waking hours full with as much activity as she could so that when she fell asleep, she would sleep deeply and be with him every night in her dreams.  She craved it now.  She savored it, but it wasn't without guilt as well.  Guilt at not convincing him to stay.  Guilt at not telling him her own true feelings before he left.   _I love you_ echoed in her mind every day.  So in her dreams, she was able to let go.  She was able to be herself with all of her feelings and emotions on her sleeve.

Convincing Ray she was far too tired for him to stay over, she readied herself for bed by donning her favorite sleep shirt; one of Oliver's tee shirts.  Oliver favored gray v-necks.  It was one of the things she took with her the night she left the Arrow Cave for the last time.  The shirt's softness gently caressed her nipples and sometimes she'd imagine it was Oliver caressing them.  The hem grazed her thighs and sometimes she'd imagine it was Oliver's hands grazing them and slowly pushing them apart.  On the nights she was alone, she would bring herself to climax  pretending the shirt was Oliver's body that covered her.  She stopped wearing typical sleepwear.  She only wanted to wear his shirt.  Surprisingly, Ray never questioned it.  As she laid her head on her pillow, her mind wandered until she finally felt the first flutters of exhaustion taking over and she closed her eyes.

 

**Little do you know**

**How I'm breaking while you fall asleep**

**Little do you know**

**I'm still haunted by the memories**

**Little do you know**

**I'm trying to pick myself up piece by piece**

**Little do you know**

**I need a little more time**

 

_'Oliver, I've missed you so much,' Felicity tells him this every night._

_'And I you.  How was your day?'  He asked._

_'Oh, long and tiring as usual,' she answered._

_'You look more tired than usual.  Remember when I told you if you ever needed to tell someone about your day that you could tell me?' He said._

_'Yes, I remember,' she smiled._

_'Well, that still and always will apply,' he affirmed._

_They were lying on her bed facing each other.  Felicity smiled at Oliver.  He was so relaxed in her dreams.  He was always smiling at her.  He had the most beautiful smile.  His hair was longer, but other than that, he looked the same.  She never saw his eyes shine so bright.  She reached out to take his hand.  It amazed her how real he felt.  She knew she would wake up in the morning and still feel as if he were right next to her._

_'Oliver, I need to tell you something,' she said._

_'Felicity, you can tell me anything, anytime, anywhere.  There is nothing I wouldn't do you for you, ever.'  He enunciated that last word slowly and Felicity couldn't resist but stare at his perfect mouth._

_'Before you left for,' she stopped and trembled.  Every time she tried to do this in her dreams, she always woke up.  She hadn't yet been able to say the words that screamed in her mind every day and she was afraid to say them now lest she awake from her wonderful dream._

_Oliver squeezed her hand.  'Hey, look at me.  Tell me Felicity.'_

_Felicity smiled shyly.  This should be the easiest thing for her to say.  Why couldn't she say it?_

 

**Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside**

**I've been holding back for the fear that you might change your mind**

**I'm ready to forgive you but forgetting is a harder fight**

**Little do you know**

**I need a little more time**

**I'll wait, I'll wait**

**I love you like you've never felt the pain**

**I'll wait**

**I promise you don't have to be afraid**

**I'll wait**

**The love is here and here to stay**

**So lay your head on me**

 

_'Before you left, you told me you knew two things.  Do you remember?'  She asked._

_'I remember,' he responded._

_'You made your feelings known to me on more than one_ _occasion, but you left before I could tell you how I truly felt about you,' she started._

_Oliver simply stared at her with a small smile._

_'I love you Oliver.  I have for a very long time and I was so afraid to tell you.  I thought by telling you, it would leave me vulnerable.  It would leave me open to be hurt, but what I realized was I hurt far more by not telling you than by telling you,' she inhaled sharply, not realizing she used one breath to say it all.  'Then, when you died, I...'_

_'Felicity,' he stopped her.  'I'm not dead,' Oliver said._

 

Felicity awoke and shot up in bed.  In all her dreams, Oliver never said that to her.  It felt so real.  She had spent the first few months trying to find Oliver.  She had used every radar, every trick with facial recognition and every hack she could think of, but she never found him.  Hi body was never recovered.  Something about an honorable death being enough of a funeral or something like that.  She spit in Nyssa's face when she said it.  The League archer was far from happy when she did that, but the way she looked at Felicity in the moment, Felicity knew she understood her grief.  She had an overwhelming sense to get to the Foundry.  It was only 3am, but she was wide awake.  She was a woman on a mission.

>>\---------->

Oliver knew he was asleep and dreaming.  It didn't surprise him that he dreamt of her.  On occasion, Thea would show up too, but more often than not, he dreamt of Felicity, his light, his girl Wednesday, his IT genius.  Except this time, he squeezed her hand and felt her warmth.

"Felicity," he whispered.

Maseo looked at his wife.  "He said her name again."

Tatsu watched over Oliver when Maseo couldn't be there.  Oliver was their friend and when they made the decision to bring him to the Lazarus Pit and nurse him back to health, they knew the risks, but they never hesitated.  Maseo had to keep up appearances for both A.R.G.U.S. and the League.  Posing as a double agent in and of itself could get him killed.  Risking his cover to save his friend added to that risk exponentially but neither of them cared.  Oliver had risked his life on more than one occasion for their family.  It was the least they could do.

"Who do you think she is?"  Tatsu asked her husband.

"I don't know.  Someone back in Starling City I'm sure," he answered.

_Oliver watched Felicity as she struggled with her thoughts.  He knew now for months what she wanted to tell him, but he never pushed or prodded her.  He needed her to say it on her own and of her own free will.  So he waited and gave her a small smile._

_'I love you Oliver. I have for a very long time and I was so afraid to tell you. I thought by telling you, it would leave me vulnerable. It would leave me open to be hurt, but what I realized was I hurt far more by not telling you than by telling you,' she inhaled sharply and he continued to watch her. 'Then, when you died, I...'_

_'Felicity,' he stopped her.  'I'm not dead,' he said._

_There, he had said it out loud.  He truly believed he wasn't dead.  He didn't feel dead.  Sure, he did at first.  He felt the blade go into his chest.  He felt the cold sweep over him and the rush of air as Ra's al Ghul pushed him over the cliff.  While he laid in the cold snow, he felt the last breath leave his lungs.  He embraced death.  He accepted it.  He had no illusions what he was dying for, but the only regret he had was not taking a chance on being with Felicity._

 

**Little do you know**

**I know you're hurting while I'm sound asleep**

**Little do you know**

**All my mistakes are slowly drowning me**

**Little do you know**

**I'm trying to make it better piece by piece**

**Little down you know**

**I love you till the sun dies.**

 

>>\---------->

Three more months passed and Felicity still was unable to find Oliver.  She continued to dream about him.  Eventually she ended her relationship with Ray.  It wasn't fair to him.  She couldn't give her heart to him fully and he was too nice of a guy to deserve less.  She returned to the Arrow Cave the night Oliver told her in her dream that he wasn't dead.  The team was happy to have her back and noticed the change in her.  Laurel and Ted had joined the crusade in honor of Oliver.  Felicity never mentioned to any of them that she had decided to continue the search for Oliver.  She did it on her own time, but she was pretty sure John suspected something.  Solidarity became her greatest ally.  It became tradition for Felicity to have the entire team over for dinner once a week, including Lyla and baby Sara.  They were, after all, honorary members.  John and Lyla even asked her to Sara's godmother, which she didn't hesitate to agree to be.  They told her they intended to make Oliver her godfather, despite the fact he wasn't there.

One night, after everyone had left, John lingered behind to help her do the dishes.  She knew the talk was coming.  John was nothing if not perceptive.

"How long have you been looking?"  He asked as he dried a wine glass.

Felicity stopped washing the pot in her hand and turned to look at him.  The expectant look on his face told her it would be futile to lie.

"How did you know?"  She asked and continued washing the pot.

"Come on Felicity.  Give me some credit.  You're my best friend.  I can always tell when you're up to something," he said with a smile.

Felicity was afraid to tell him the reasons behind her continued search.  He would think she's crazy.

"Felicity, talk to me," John prodded.

"I dream about him every night, John," she admitted.

"Well that's understandable.  You loved him," he said gently.

Felicity was surprised by his observation.  John was like a big brother to her and sometimes even a father figure.  She was always able to talk to him about anything.  "The dreams seem so real.  I feel his warmth and see his smile.  He touches my hand and squeezes it, and tells me he loves me.  We talk about everything in my dreams.  Then three months ago, he told me he wasn't dead, and he has done so every night since.  I know it's sounds crazy, I know it does, but I feel it in my bones that he's alive.  I have to find him.  I just have to John."  A single tear fell down her cheek and she felt John pull her into his arms.

"We will Felicity.  I promise," John said.

Later that night, in her bed, wrapped in his signature gray tee shirt, she told Oliver she was coming for him.

 

**Oh wait, just wait**

**I love you like you've never felt the pain**

**Just wait**

**I love you like I've never been afraid**

**Just wait**

**Our love is here and here to stay**

**So lay your head on me**

**Cause little do you know**

**I, I love you till sun dies**

 

 


	2. I Held My Breath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dreams finally become a reality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many of you have asked for a continuation chapter on this one and I have heard your requests. I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it. This one was inspired by A Thousand Years, Part 2 by Christina Perri and Steve Kazee. Well, just because I think it's one of the most romantic songs out there. I really hope you don't think the end is too cheesy. As always, kudos and comments are appreciated.

The harsh clang of the meeting of two swords echoed in the vast room.  With each swipe, Oliver saw a flash of a memory.  He had yet to fully regain his memory and it frustrated him.  Both Maseo and Tatsu insisted he train while he recovers his memory.  Even though he couldn't remember everything about his life before the pit, he knew there was a life that he had to get back to.  He remembered his friendship with his hosts.  He remember he was Oliver Queen.  He also remember everything up to his time in Hong Kong.  He did however have these brief glimpses of a blonde woman with glasses.  He dreamt of her every night, but he had no idea who she was or why he kept dreaming about her.

Clang, clang, clang.  Oliver was able to avoid every strike that Maseo threw at him.  When he stopped, he smiled at Oliver.  "Very good my friend.  Your reflexes have not only improved, but you have been able to avoid every surprise I throw at you."

"Thanks," Oliver said.

Just then, voices from the next room reached the men and they turned to the doorway.  The door was partially open, filtering in light from the other room.  Tatsu was speaking to someone.  A soft, feminine voice floated to his ears and he closed his eyes.  The voice filled his senses.  He could smell lavender.  He could feel soft skin against his palm.  He could taste a sweet flavor, almost like a ripened fruit.  He opened his eyes and the blonde woman in his dreams stood in the doorway staring at him.

"Oliver?"  He heard her say.

Oliver's mind was suddenly flooded with memories, as if he were watching a film trailer.  He saw this woman sitting at a desk, chewing on a red pen.  He saw her startled in a car finding him bloodied.  He saw her being held by her hair by a very bad man while he aimed an arrow at that same man.

 

**The day we met**

**Frozen, I held my breath**

**Right from the start**

**I knew that I'd found a home for my heart**

**Beats fast**

**Colors and promises**

**How to be brave?**

**How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?**

**But watching you stand alone**

**All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow**

**One step closer**

 

Oliver opened his eyes and took a step towards her.  The light behind her cast an almost ethereal glow around her as if she were an angel.  He knew her.  She was part of the life he had before the pit.  She was his light.  His heart was beating out of his chest.  The flashes continued in his mind.  He saw her in short skirts, sitting in front of computer monitors, stitches up his wounds, scolding him, calling him a hero, telling him she believes in him.

 

**I have died everyday waiting for you**

**Darling don't be afraid I have loved you**

**For a thousand years**

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

 

Eleven months, sixteen days and eight hours had passed since Oliver had left her.  It was almost Hanukkah and Christmas again.  Felicity had started searching for him after he had told her in his dreams that he was not dead, and she never gave up hope.  She'd be damned if she spent one more holiday without him.  Had it not been with the help of John, Roy and surprisingly, their dear friend Anatoly from Russia, this moment would not have been possible.  When she reached out to Tatsu, she was quickly shot down.  After all, Tatsu didn't know her, but as soon as Felicity told her who she was and where she was from, she agreed to meet with her.  The team immediately flew to the Andes Mountains.  After Tatsu's careful vetting, she agreed to let them to come to their secret home.  While in her heart and mind she had believed this moment would happen, a small part of her believed it would never happen.  Watching his face fill with confusion, she was frightened by what he might say.

 

**And all along I believed I would find you**

**Darling don't be afraid I have loved you**

**For a thousand years**

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

**One step closer**

 

Felicity could almost see memories flood his mind as he watched her, but he'd yet to speak a single word.  Taking two more steps towards him, she said, "Oliver, it's me, Felicity."

John, Tatsu and Maseo watched silently in the background.  John was nervous because Oliver still held the sword in his hand and he could tell Oliver didn't quite recognize Felicity yet.  There was no telling what he would do.  Tatsu had explained to them that Oliver had very little memory of the last four years of his life and that he had only seen flashes.  However, she did tell them that while recovering from his injuries, he spoke Felicity's name over and over in his sleep.

Oliver blinked several times and took two more steps towards Felicity.  Fe-li-city.  His Felicity.  His friend.  His partner.  The love of his life.  With that realization, everything came flooding back and he dropped the sword to the ground.   _'I love_ _you'_ echoed in his mind.

"Felicity?  You're here," he whispered.

Felicity tentatively smiled and on a sob said, "Where else would I be?"

He suddenly grabbed her and pulled her into his arms, crushing her to his chest.  

 

**I have died everyday waiting for you**

**Darling don't be afraid I have loved you**

**For a thousand years**

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

**And all along I believed I would find you**

**Time has brought your hear to me**

**I have loved you for a thousand years**

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

 

Felicity had very few occasions where she cried, but she was unable to stop the emotions that flooded her at that moment and she sobbed into Oliver's neck as she clung to him for dear life.  She loved this man with all her heart and she could finally tell him, face to face, exactly how she felt.  No more dreams, no more secrets, no more quiet moments.  After a moment, she pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"Oliver, I love you," she said.

Oliver smiled as a single tear fell down his cheek.  "You owe me two more," he said.

Felicity laughed.

 

TWO YEARS LATER

 

Felicity stood in her wedding dress in front of the full length mirror.  Her mother, Thea and Lyla stood behind her commenting to each other how beautiful she looked.  Even after all this time, it felt so surreal.  They would finally be getting their happy ending.  Oh, it wasn't without some hick-ups along the way.  Since Oliver's return from the "dead," there had been a few times where there had been doubts.  They had reached an agreement with the League after turning over Malcolm Merlyn.  They still fought for the city every night.  Oliver swore to her that no matter what happened in the future, he would never push her away again, and he had kept his promise.  They were able to find a balance between Oliver Queen and the Green Arrow, as well as a balance between Oliver/Felicity and Team Green Arrow.

Felicity looked down at the engagement ring on her finger.  Oliver took great pride in making it.  He told her she deserved something as wonderful and unique as she was.  Inside the band was the simple inscription ' _it was red'_ and the date they had met.  To this day, no one but them knew what those three words meant.  They kept that little secret between the two of them.

"Are you ready sis?"  Thea asked.  "I can call you that, right?  I mean we are almost sisters by marriage anyway."

Felicity smiled.  "I would love for you to call me that."

"Ok, let's go," Donna Smoak said with excitement.

"Can I have a minute to myself before we go?"  Felicity asked.

Donna Smoak turned around in concern.  "Everything ok?"

"Oh yes.  I just want a quiet moment before I walk down the aisle," Felicity answered.

"Ok.  We'll see you in a minute," Donna said.

When the ladies left the room, Felicity walked over to the window overlooking Queen Manor's grounds.  It took over a year, but Oliver was able to not only get back his family's home, but regain control of Queen Consolidated.  She was pretty sure Ray Palmer did that part for her.  Oliver knew he couldn't thoroughly and efficiently run the company.  So he made Felicity his CEO while he retained ownership.  She still felt a little weird living at Queen Manor, but she slowly was making it her own.  At Oliver's behest, she had already had half the house redecorated.  Even going so far as to making a playroom for the Diggle children, and hopefully the Queen children one day.

At a knock at the door, Felicity turned.

"Fe-li-city?" Oliver said from the other side of the door.

"Oliver!  You can't see me before the wedding!" She yelled through the wood.

"I know.  I'm not coming in.  I just wanted to tell you something before the ceremony," he said.

Felicity smiled.  He was always "just" doing or saying something.  "Oh really?  And what might that be?"

"Do you remember that time I was dead?"  He asked.

"Which time?"  Felicity laughed.

"Ha, ha.  The last time, when I fought Ra's al Ghul," he answered.

"Of course I remember.  Those eleven and half months was the worst time of my life Oliver," she said.

"Well, when you came to get me all those months later and told me that you loved me, I told you that you owed me two more.  Do you remember that?"  He asked.

"Yes."

"Well I remembered last night that was actually the second time you told me that you loved me."

"Oliver, you're mistaken.  I never admitted my true feelings before that because I was afraid to," she admitted.

"Oh, but you did.  You did in my dreams Felicity while I was unconscious."

"What?"  She said with a surprise.

"You told me you loved me in my dreams," he repeated.

After Oliver came back to Starling City, they hardly spoke of his time away.  Felicity certainly never told him of the dreams she had of him and the conversations they had in those dreams.  How could he possibly know she said she loved him in those same dreams?

Felicity opened the door and stared at him with wide eyes.  "You had the same dreams that I had."

"Are you telling me you said you loved me in your dreams too?"  He asked.

"Yes, but how is that possible?"  She asked.

"How is anything possible?  I long ago decided to expect the unexpected, and I needed you to know that before we walk down that aisle.  Shall we?"  He put his hand out for hers.

Felicity smiled and placed her hand in his, and as they said their vows, they knew without a doubt they were meant to be together.

 

**I have died everyday waiting for you**

**Darling don't be afraid I have loved you**

**For a thousand years**

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

**And all along I believed I would find you**

**Time has brought your hear to me**

**I have loved you for a thousand years**

**I'll love you for a thousand more**

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Little Do You Know by Alex & Sierra, another fantastic song that applies so well to my favorite ship. I hope you enjoyed it and as always, kudos and comments make my day.


End file.
